Amelia Draws

We decided as a family that if there was such a scenario where a mob boss, or equivalent villain, wanted to threaten someone, they could add extra menace, a bit of unhinged absurdism, by looking directly at the victim and eating a banana.

It would not matter how they ate that banana, as long as the eye contact was maintained.

For instance, you are in an underground carpark. It’s dark and big men in black tees surround you. The boss wears a dark suit and you owe him 50 grand that you don’t have. He wants to deal with this personally.

He looks at you, directly at you, he pulls a banana out of his pocket, slowly and methodically peels it. He takes a bite, chews, swallows and then he says your name. He has made you sweat, if this guy eats a banana in this moment, at a time like this, what else is he capable of?

Say, he flips the banana and peels it bottom to top. Looking you in the eye daring you to blink. Or, he cuts the banana up with a knife into little disks eating them one by one. He could pull the banana apart with his fingers then wipe the delicately on napkin. He could pretend the banana was a gun before he took a bite. That bite could be a huge big chomp out of the centre, skin and all.

He could lick it

However it plays out, however the banana gets eaten it is always loaded with absurd menace.

We threw stress test after stress test at the hypotheses and firmly concluded that there is no way to eat a banana, with maintained eye contact, that isn’t at a little bit evil.