Amelia Draws

My eldest says that I am allergic to negative space. They’re right. I have history of creating work that fills the page. But in the past the drawing’s intensity and density was mitigated by the use of bright colours and intricate patterning. There wasn’t restraint so much, but there was freedom and joy and a lightness of touch.

These days, nope. These days it is heavy, dark, constant. My grip and jaw clench, the drawing clenches. Moments of light lost deep in the darkness as I layer and layer on top of the pieces. Unable to stop or let go. Then I tear them up.

I am okay with this, life was a scrunch of trauma and recovery that my hand and my pen is still healing.

But, it is time I remember how to let go, to look elsewhere, to seek that lightness of touch and be easy on the page.

It is just that I am having trouble doing that.

Maybe its me, maybe its the world at large, but despite my continued efforts – ease and space elude me.

I have rearranged my desk to create a different constraints, reduced my materials. I take sketchbooks with me outside into the city and draw what I see. I draw landscapes from the tv. I work large. I work small. I try to remember to stop and step away.

But its all dense- density density dense

It wasn’t always like this as I display here even the sad pieces showed restraint

Back in the catalogue when a piece was dense it was dense with interest. It was dense and alive with colour, pattern and texture.

I will persist of course. There is no giving up – that option simply doesn’t exist.

I could accept this state of affairs lean into it and learn it more but I am someone who pushes back against things I don’t like. As a person, a woman, a mother and an artist. So we persist. Gently